As Garak's hands traveled
over the smooth skin and soft contours of
the alien body, his eyes took in the
odd but somehow familiar sight. It
struck him that this human offered him
everything that he had so missed
since his exile. He was offering warmth
when the tailor was cold,
companionship in his loneliest time.
He was aesthetically pleasing in a
sea of ugliness. He was forgiveness for
unknown sins, food for a hungry
soul, and kindness in a cruel existence.
Mentally stimulating
conversation, an open mind to explore,
an accepting heart, and finally,
a willing, equally wanting body to hold.
Most of all, what he craved
most desperately, he was welcomed, wanted,
and needed. This was a most
valued state for Elim Garak. The fact
that this young man could be
sharing this with so many others, while
he was here in the Cardassian's
arms made this so much more intense to
the tailor, it meant so much
more.
He wanted the
release from years of unspent sexual energy, but he
needed this more. He was starved for
the simple affection, the respect
and mutual pleasure that he had been
denied for so long. So many long
years of solitude had passed before tonight.
He wanted this to go on for
as long as Julian would allow it, or
for as long as he could stand it.
He was lying
beside the human, admiring the graceful form, and
heated flesh. Slowly his eyes and hands
traveled over every inch of the
doctor’s skin, and then they were followed
by his cool lips. He felt
himself getting lost in his exploration,
and didn’t care. This moment
was all that was important. He had yearned
for this for so long, to
allow any other thoughts to intrude seemed
sacrilegious. Even thinking
of how the doctor’s body felt under his
hands became impossible when he
felt Julian’s own fingers tracing his
ridges and nails scraping his
scales.
Of it’s own
accord, his head snapped back, his mouth dropped open,
and an animalistic sound unlike any he
had ever heard escaped his
throat. As the stimulation grew firmer,
his voice became uncontrollable,
his body shivered with sensation, and
heat he hadn’t felt in ages
coursed through his veins.
Seeing the tailor’s
reaction to his touch caused Julian to become
bolder, more aggressive, more certain
himself. He lifted his upper body
from the bed to press his lips more firmly
against Garak’s in a
passionate kiss, to gain more access
to the tough hide of the
Cardassian’s back, and to nip at the
sensitive neck till Garak was
beyond caring, beyond resisting as Julian
rolled him onto his back and
took up the superior position above him.
Allowing another
to control him was just as intoxicating to Garak
as it was for Julian to have this control.
Instinct took over where
timidity had reigned, and Julian found
his body acting and reacting of
it’s own accord. Everything he did seemed
to make Garak burn, and it was
so captivating to watch those lips that
had mastered and lead so many
conversations suddenly incapable of forming
simple words. Only moans,
whimpers, and sighs were able to escape,
and they grew increasingly
louder as he trailed his lips and teeth
down the central abdominal
ridge, till talon like hands suddenly
gripped his shoulders, pushing his
away.
Alarmed, Julian
looked questioningly at Garak, and waited patiently
for the older man to catch his breath.
After some minutes, the
Cardassian gasped out, “No… I don’t want
it to end yet…. Please… give me
a little longer.”
Julian experienced
a very novel emotion; power, passion and pity
all in one, and all for Garak. His heart
constricted as he watched Garak
squeezed his eyes shut in a strange mixture
of submission, emotional
pain, and hopeful anticipation. His voice
was no more than a hoarse
whisper, his cool skin moist with sweat,
and his grip on the doctor
desperate. He’d already been hard so
long it ached, and yet he didn’t
want to let it go, he couldn’t allow
the release to carry him away,
because then it would all be over. The
moment he had longed for would be
a memory rather than a dream. Just a
little longer, it was all he asked.
And he would have it, Julian decided.
The doctor gathered
his wits on the collection of a deep breath,
settled his nerves, and tamed his body’s
natural reactions the best he
could. Just a little longer. He could
give his friend this.
Stretching back
up to lean over the older man, he reached out and
stroked softly at the raven hair, calming
both their desires and buying
the precious few minutes his friend needed.
Garak knew what
he was doing, and he appreciated it. He had missed
this so much, the endorphin rush, the
blinding haze, the healing
ointment of his soul. For a few minutes,
he was worthwhile, someone
valued him, and not for the monstrosities
he was capable of, but because
he was making them feel good. And at
the end there would be a few
moments of all encompassing, blissful
perfection, and then it would be
over. Nothing more than a pleasant memory.
But for now, it was good.
As Garak felt
his body come back into control, he lay back again,
relaxing and enjoying the press of the
hot body on his, the sound of
that voice as it instructed, queried,
and admired. He gave himself over
finally, completely in the last moments.
When he could fight his need no
longer, and he felt his body lose it’s
battle, he mourned the loss of
this contact before it was dead. In a
final act of surrender, his voice
broke, and tears flowed. He gave up,
and let the climax take him. The
pent up emotions burst free, the years
of physical need were answered,
the hounds of Cardassian passion set
loose to roar and scream and howl
out their life and deaths in a matter
of seconds.
When he came
back to himself, to his horror, he heard his voice
confessing things to this human he had
never been willing to admit to
himself. With sickening fear, the interrogator
gave up his secrets, and
not due to any torture he had ever considered
in his career as Tain’s
favored officer or bastard son. To make
things worse, he had asked, no
begged for this! Had he allowed it to
end those few minutes earlier,
perhaps he would have been better able
to restrain himself. But now
there were no more secrets of any importance
from this man. Now that he
had given up his most sacred secret,
he had left himself open for the
worst death of all. The massacre of a
possibility, however wistful it
had been. He knew all along the doctor
would *not* feel this
love..., but if he hadn’t told him, he
could continue to entertain the
possibilities. Now, that hope would
die.
The tailor finally
dared open his eyes, and through the blur of his
tears, he could see the shock on the
human’s open face. The wide eyes,
the slack jaw. He could almost see the
words forming on Julian’s lips.
‘I’m flattered, but I’m sorry. This was
a bad idea,’ he would say. Garak
couldn’t stand to look at that face anymore
and wait for those words. He
twisted his head and drew a shuddering
racking breath. His hands moved
up the length of the fragile arms, stroking
the tender flesh, taking it
in while he could. Soon it would with
draw from him as if he were
diseased. His death that had begun seven
years ago with his exile would
finally be complete with the shattering
of his heart. The functions of
his body would be a mere formality, for
he would be completely dead
within.
“You love me?”
That was not
what he had expected to hear. Or how he expected to
hear it. He had expected disbelief, as
well as shock, but not hope.
Never that.
He turned back
to face the human who hovered over him. Julian’s
eyes were bright, his face pink, and
his gaze intent, probing.
Garak was taken
back. He was only able to nod his head, waiting for
the unknown conclusion.
A long slender
finger went up to gently rub over an eye ridge that
was made slick with thick tears. The
brown eyes that had conveyed so
many emotions Garak thought he had seen
them all softened to an
expression he’d never dared to consider.
Somehow those eyes were sad,
elated, bitter, and relieved all at once,
and even stranger was that he
understood. Sad that so much time had
passed before the revelation had
come to light. Elated that it finally
had been spoken. Bitter that so
many harsh words had come between them
and the judgement of others when
their feelings became public, and finally,
relieved that he too could
say it. Relieved that because Julian
had also longed to be loved and
accepted for who he was, and not only
if he could conform to meet an
expectation.
The human
finally lowered his face to the tailor’s, placing kisses
along the cheeks, up the jaw line to
reach the ear, and whisper his own
confession. Julian felt the heavier arms
close over his back, and
unresistingly allowed his body to be
pulled down so that he was lying
beneath the tailor. He closed his eyes,
and gave himself over,
concentrating on every sound, touch and
gesture as if his life depended
on it. The Cardassian’s trembling hands
moved over him with a new
urgency, and a rough tenderness that
aroused him to the point of
breaking. As he arched his back, called
out his lovers name, he knew
*he* would never be the same again, and
he didn’t even want to be.
~END~
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